Gay Dads National Conference 2010

I have the privilege to part of the Gay Dads National Conference 2010 to be held 18th and 19th September in Melbourne. This is a great opportunity for gay dads of all kinds to get together and share the knowledge and wisdom of raising children as a gay dad and for those who want to become dads.

Being a gay dad to me, is no different to any other dad. We all represent the fatherhood of our children regardless how they are brought into our lives, whether it is through surrogacy, co-parenting, adoption, fostering or through a heterosexual relationship. Coming out of a heterosexual relationship into the gay world was a bit daunting for me at the time, as I was trying to work what does a gay dad do.... As it worked out I had to change nothing, my children had always knew me as their dad and always will, regardless of what I did.

I did find that a few things had to change from being a hetro dad to a gay dad. One being of course, my partner. Being of the same sex as me, the children had to adjust to the idea of their dad being with someone of the same sex. I was lucky that I had the chance to explain that their dad was gay before he embarked on a same sex relationship. When it came to the relationship part my children were adjusted to the fact that their dad was gay. Being a part of a separated family for quite some time, they got used of the idea that mum lives at one house and dad at another.

Now that their mum has a partner and I have partner both being male, the children have started to ask questions about the "Step Dad". Who is their real step dad?? I told them that both are step dads in their own way. My children have grown to love my partner as part of the family, he helps with the raising of the children, the disciplining, and of course he loves to cuddle with them watching TV. I look at this and think why are we treated different to the heterosexual step family. It maybe because the stigma of many gay guys, believe that they do not belong in a family with their partner who has children, they may feel that they are on the exterior of the relationship. I have overcome this with my partner by allowing him to involved with the wellbeing of my children, yes, we do have our difference, but I have also learnt alot from him about being a great dad to my children. Step gay dads can play an important role in the children lives and the building of a stable relationship within the family.

For more information on the Gay Dads National Conference click here